If all the Raindrops were Lemondrops and Gumdrops

For weary travelers the rain is a welcome blessing. It rinses the dust of their travels, refreshing them and giving them renewed straight for the rest of their journey.

 But then, as the rain continues to pour down, the traveler who was thankful for the rain now sees it as a curse. 

It's soaking them to the bone. 

Everything they have is being washed clean.

 As the water soaks and cleans their what they carry on their back it becomes heavy...begging to be left on the side of the road. Yet, no matter how heavy it gets they don't want to put it down. It's the only thing that they see as truly theirs. 

So instead of letting go of the heavy baggage, they curse the rain which used to be such a blessing. Why such a change? How did the rain go from a blessing to the curse? Because that weary traveler cared to much for his heavy baggage then feeling the true refreshing of the rain. He didn't want to let go of what he thought was his...no matter how much it was slowing him down. Have you ever carried something wet? It becomes so heavy and weighs you down. You start to stumble under the wait, especially if the ground is slick or rocky.

How many people are like that traveler? 

Wanting God in all his glory, yet when his glory makes all their baggage become uncomfortable they don't want anything to do with him.  They are too attached to it. No matter if it's slowing down their progress, or increasing their chances of failing. They stumble around under the weight. To proud to let go. To proud to admit they can't do it. The are too proud. Telling God they'll get there their own way.

 Matthew  7:14 says 

"But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it"

It is impossible to journey with the drenched baggage weighing you down. How would you fit through the narrow gate?

If only that weary traveler would drop that soaked baggage that is weighing him down and let the the glory of God, like that rain...refresh him and make him completely whole. All it takes is dropping that baggage. Dropping the pride. Letting God make him clean...And then...they would feel a refreshing like none other

"Standing outside with my mouth open wide.....oh what a rain that would be"

Not Without Love

I tried Lord
I tried Lord
I tried hard to be Your good little boy
Chin up, head high
All zeal and no joy
Thinking all my good deeds could please Jesus
Boy, was I wrong
Though I knew the right songs, all my cymbals and gongs played the melodies wrong
And it wasn’t long ‘til I saw my disease
A life spent wanting to please
On hands and knees
To make right, to appease
God help me please
This can’t be Christianity, it can’t be
The whole thing’s like insanity
Where’s the rest of eternal security?
Where’s the hope of a God big enough to cope with all my hang-ups and insecurities?
Certainly this isn’t breathing
My chest burning and heaving
It’s like my pulse is ceasing
Like my heart quits beating
Yet this I recall to mind and therefore I have hope:
You died, Lord
You died, Lord
Assuredly, like the coming of the dawn, the Father’s love song goes on
Drowning out my bitter songs
And breaking through walls and barriers
Christ swoops in, removes sin, picks up His bride and carries her
So I can sing in agreement with the King this thing:
There’s only one thing that pleases the Father
The God-man on the tree in the midst of the scoffers
Now I finally see that Christ is what Christ offers
And I’m finally free in the love of the Father

Not Without Love (Benediction)
Jimmy Needham

My Father...

Putting my hand into my Fathers...as He leads me into a field of sunflowers. Looking up at Hhim...with big eyes He nods, releases my hand and lets me run into the field....spinning around arms spread wide...laughing deep laughs that start in my belly...
then...
He's chasing me...as i run through the field...giggling like a little kid. i can hear His deep laughter as He runs after me..pretending He can't catch me...He gets close...and i turn fast... finally He wraps His arms around my middle lifting me up high spinning me around in His arms. He throws me up in the air as i squeal and catches me.
He puts me down...taking my hand again as we come to the edge of the field...as we step out of the field the sun is shining bright...and then it starts to rain...a fresh rain. each drop filled with sunshine. leaning my head back so the drops can fall on my face
Smiling up at Him...He wraps His arms around me...not caring that i was socked with rain... and i can feel His love pulsing through every part of His body filling me...He picks me up in His arms...my arms around His neck my head leaning on His shoulder...and as He walks...the sound of His breathing is like a lullaby

Breathing

I've been sitting here...for almost an hour taking this stupid drug and alcohol course online. and i must admit it's quite boring....if i'm being completely honest.
if i'm going to do something i really would like to enjoy it....i mean...hello, doesn't everyone want to do what they enjoy?
But that's not really wanted what i wanted to write about. The other day i was sitting by myself and i started thinking about all the things i'm trying to do right now. there is so much that i want to get done...so much that i feel like i'm behind on....and i want to get it all done right now. like...actually all this stuff needed to be done like yesterday in my mind.
it's like...i looked up from my life one day and realized all the stuff i haven't done...and i really want to do...but i haven't. either as a result of my laziness...or simply because of that old life.. neither are really excuses...just facts.
so..because of that moment of realizing that i haven't truly lived life in these past 18 years i want to cram all that living into like right now. i want to catch up and be where i need to be. but...that is a little bit scary...and totally not possible. i've been gulping in that fresh air....not thinking of the consequences....there is so much fresh air though! there is so much newness! there is so much that is wonderful and i wanna do it all!
*takes a deep breath*
but i need to do more of that. stopping. taking slow deep breaths and just reveling in the fact that i am free. that i have a whole new life in front of me. that i have a chance to see and interact with all the newness...i have so much newness waiting for me. i should just take my time and take one new thing at time. not trying to cram so much in to so little time and burning myself out.
so...what does that mean?
Well my first new thing was starting this new job. which was pretty darn big if i do say so myself..
the next new thing is i'm going to attempt to learn how to play the keyboard.
and during these two new things i'm going to do something that i've never done before.
i'm going to relax. to enjoy the moment and quit being scared that i'm going to wake up and it's all going to be gone. because....this isn't going to go away. this is my new life.. and i'm quite happy with it if i do say so myself

A New Way to Breathe

I know, the title is cliche, right? Don't lie...you know that's what you were thinking. But bare with me for a little bit..
So let's say you've lived your whole life thinking that your life is normal. That everything you've done, everything you've been taught is just the normal way to go. That's just how it is. Then, after you're mindset is stuck...you meet someone who totally turns your perception of life completely upside down. You realize that the your life was no where near normal. That there's this whole other life that you could have...that you had no idea that even existed! You're like oh my gosh! Is this real? It can't be!
Then...the more you become exposed to the real normal...the more the real normal actually hurts.
The real normal is a place where you can breath deep. Where you can throw you head back and just revel in the warmth of the sun on your face. But..if you're used to not breathing deeply...not being able to breath pure air...your lungs start to burn as you try to breathe. You feel like you're suffocating that you're dying...The sun isn't something you enjoy..it burns like fire... Yet..through the pain...you know. If I can just get through this...if i can just hang on a little bit longer it's gonna be ok. I'll be happy. Life will be good... i just have to learn how to breathe...i have to re-learn life.

And in a little while....you're gonna look back at what normal used to be and you're gonna laugh. Laugh at yourself for making such a big deal about re-learning life. You'll laugh because you'll remember how scared you used to be about this new life. The new normal. But you're gonna be able to breathe deep. You're gonna be able to smile with a true smile that you can feel all the way down in your toes... And you're gonna thank God for opening your eyes. You're gonna thank God for opening your lungs....so you can learn that new way to breath